She may not know but...

1)wherever we are, no matter how uncomfortable i may be, i will make sure that she is comfortable

2)no matter what the circumstances are,i will always put her before myself

3)that sometimes, i try to save up and tighten my belt a little more so that i can get her the things that she wants

4)deep down in me,i really love her alot and really wish that someday,she can be my wife

she will never know....sigh

Copied the following extract from babe's blog:

i'm a human.i'm not perfect.i'm a girl, not another guy.i have limits, lower than yours.i can't carry heavy weights.i can't stand being nagged all the time.don't be critical of me. i'm trying though not as hard as you want to.i hide not because i'm scared but because i don't want you to see me as a weak person.sorry will never mean a thing, i know.but still, i'll continue to try. no matter how much it hurts me inside.all for the sake of seeing you smile.this is me.this is steffi.this is who i am.if you love me, good.if you don't, i don't give a fuck

words like these really hurt me the most. Apparently, it appears as though i am pushing her way to hard. But am i really doing so? Asking her to make the effort to do crunches adn wear her retainers daily...is it too much to ask for? What benefit does it do for me? Yes,she will look better and while standing next to me,others may envy me for having such a beautiful girlfriend but the truth is,what good does it do for me? I admit that i would like to see her looking better but at the same time,i want her to feel good about herself as well. I may be selfish but is that asking for too much? Asking her to go to the gym with me and carry some weights ( just the first or second one only). Is that too much? I am clearly aware that she is a girl and my girlfriend mind you so would i push her so hard? So many times i just end up telling her it is ok, ending off with a sentence hoping that she would improve the next time and she said that she would...just like the crunches and the fact that i dun want her to go for another guy, she gave me her word but at the end of the day, what happened? Am i really asking for too much? Somehow i really envy other guys out there who can have a girlfriend who would willingly engage in sports with them. Somehow,it is not just about the girl wanting to do or not...i believe that at times, the focus is on doing things together. Sadly though, babe in her statements has indicated that for as long as she does not wat to do smthing, she will not do so. If only she looked beyond herself and take into consideration about the fact that we are both in this relationship together and at times, it is not just about her but me as well. Perhaps i have been saying too much. Concern means nothing anymore...it is time to shut up.

This is the very first entry right here in this special blog of mine. It will be dedicated purely to my thoughts and feelings. So here goes nothing.